Defending Batman v Superman

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD!! DON’T READ IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN BATMAN V SUPERMAN!

A friend of mine showed me an article today that was titled “22 Things That Are Super Wrong with Batman v Superman.” It obnoxiously listed several things that, in my opinion, made sense within the film. If you just paid attention. It helps if you’re a comic book fan (but it’s not a necessity), and based on the response from most critics, I’d say they don’t fall under that category.

Let’s go through some of the points the author brought up.

1. “The name Martha.”

The author of the original article says Batman’s weakness is his mother’s name since it stops him from killing Superman. Nevermind the fact that his mother was MURDERED RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS EYES, but it was also the last word his father ever spoke. So is it really so hard to believe that Bruce might have an emotional reaction to the name? Especially at a time when he least expects it? Hearing Superman say “You have to save Martha”, he probably thought he was messing with his head. Bruce probably has spent years as a young adult agonizing over the fact that he couldn’t save his mother from death. His initial reaction is anger towards Superman. It’s not until Lois explains that it’s Superman’s mother’s name that he stops what he’s doing. But more on that later…

2. “Everywhere anything happens is likely uninhabited. There are no people anywhere!”

Everybody complained about Superman not taking the fight elsewhere in Man of Steel and now everybody’s complaining that the movie tries to right those wrongs. One of the first things Superman does when fighting Doomsday is fly him to outer space. When Doomsday crashes back down, a military officer announces that the island he landed on is uninhabited. And I think that’s exactly what someone would say in that instance. Later Batman says the Gotham port is abandoned. Good job, Mr. Superhero! Not putting lives in danger! Apparently that’s frowned upon now.

3. “Everyone seems to think Superman shot a bunch of people.

Uhhh… Nope. Not sure anyone thinks that. If you had been paying attention you’d know that Lex Luthor set the whole thing up to blame Superman for it. There were more who died than just the men who were shot. If you listened to the woman at the hearing she explains that when Superman arrived, people died (when Superman grabs the terrorist leader and flys him through the building, it’s possible his destruction killed several others, or at least was made to look like it). She goes on to explain that after Superman left, the government came in and attacked, killing several others. She blames Superman for the lives lost and Senator Finch even says she holds him responsible.

4. “Batman’s dream about a giant bat.

Bruce Wayne is often depicted having dreams of giant bats. It’s nothing new.

5. “Batman’s dream about other flying monsters.

This is where knowing a little about the comics might come in handy. Those flying monsters are parademons and they’re basically minions to the villain Darkseid. They have no explanation, I’ll grant you that, but do they need it? Batman gets no explanation as to who they are either. When Thanos showed up at the end of The Avengers, he got no explanation leaving non-comic fans scratching their heads but did anyone complain about that? Nope.

6. “Seriously, how much does Batman sleep?

This is answered in the next question.

7. “Wait … was that The Flash? … gosh, I hope not.”

Yes it was The Flash. He, unfortunately, never says why he hopes it wasn’t The Flash, so I can’t respond to that but I can say that I don’t think it was a dream. I believe The Flash really did show up to Bruce (and was the one who showed him the possible apocalyptic future). Yes, Bruce snaps out of it as if it were a dream, but if you noticed the papers floating to the ground in the background, I think it’s safe to assume it actually happened. If you had trouble understanding what he said, I’d suggest going to an audiologist because something is clearly wrong with your ears. I had no problems understanding him.

8. “Quick reminder: Martha! Martha! Martha!”

Told you he was obnoxious.

9. “Quick reminder: There’s no people anywhere.”

Ugh.

10. “I’m not a lady. I’m a journalist.”

He then writes ” ‘This is a ladies’ room. I can’t use this. Where’s your restroom for journalists?’ ” which is just pathetic and kinda sexist. The person she’s interviewing is hesitant to speak to a woman, so Lois says this line. I’m not here as a woman, I’m here as a journalist. What’s wrong with that?

11. “Batman gets a bunch of angry letters. One says something like this: I HAUNT YOU”

Haha OK, I’ll kinda give him this one. “I haunt you” is a little silly to write as an angry note, but whatever. If that really ruined the movie for you then you’re being a little nit picky.

12. “Sure, the world is about to end, but that can wait. Wonder Woman needs to check her email.”

It wasn’t like Wonder Woman was about to jump into battle and decided to check her email. She was on her computer looking at the news of what was happening in Metropolis. Then an email popped up. God forbid she read it! And if you’re gonna complain that she was on her computer rather than out in the fight, remember she’s about to run away. The next time we see her she’s getting on a plane. She said she gave up on mankind 100 years ago. She wasn’t planning on joining the fight.

As far as the videos of the other Justice League members, I’ve never had a problem with this sequence. It doesn’t slow down the movie for me and it doesn’t feel shoe-horned in. It would have been 1,000 times worse if Aquaman or The Flash had shown up in person during the fight with Doomsday and disappeared two seconds later. Setting it up so Bruce has to find these people, I think, was a brilliant way to go.

The author also complains about the way Wonder Woman reads the email, scrolling one line at a time. Could it be for dramatic purposes? Nah, couldn’t be.

13. “After an intense fight scene, Batman and Superman realize their moms are both named Martha. Suddenly, they’re BFFs.

I’ve seen this movie twice now and the first time I saw it I thought “OK, they became buddy-buddy a little quickly” but the second time I saw it, I realized how well it actually works. During this fight scene, Batman tells Superman on more than one occasion that he’s not a man. “You’re not brave. Men are brave” he says. Later he says “You’re not a god. You’re not even a man.” Then Superman says the name Martha. When he finds out that it’s Superman’s mother that’s in danger, it gives him pause. Not because he realizes they both have a mother named Martha but because Superman IS a man. With a mother. Batman has only seen Superman as a super-powered alien from another world who suddenly showed up causing fear, pain and destruction on HIS home planet. Batman can’t stand for that. But when Batman realizes that Superman has a mother, who he loves and is willing to die for and who just happens to be named Martha, he finally sees something human in Superman. THAT’S why he stops himself from killing him. The rest of the movie shows Batman just how good Superman really is. In fact, it changes Batman. But I’ll get to that in a little bit…

14. “Batman saves Superman’s mom and is all like, ‘I’m a friend of your son.’ “

Don’t know what to say about this one. It never bothered me and it got a laugh from the audience. Batman and Superman may not be “friends” yet but what else is he gonna say? “I almost killed your son but he said your name and I realized that he’s more human than I thought and I told him I’d come save you” seems a little cumbersome.

15. “Yep. There’s Doomsday’s butt.”

He says they zoom in on it. I just saw the movie tonight. Never saw the “zoomed in” shot but whatever. Zod was naked when the metamorphosis was started so it would have been weirder if Doomsday suddenly had shorts on.

16. “But… there’s only a butt.”

It’s a PG-13 movie, people.

17. “Superman gets nuked in space. It’s cool though, he’s fine in like five minutes.”

This is straight out of The Dark Knight Returns. In fact, in the comic, Superman is even more shriveled up and gross looking. And just like the comic, after being exposed to the sun, his powers are restored.

18. “Sure, we’re in the middle of a huge battle, but it totally makes sense that Superman stops and hears Lois Lane drowning under some rubble. Uh, why is she here again?”

You’re right. Don’t even try to save the woman you love. Just let her drown.

19. “Harry Potter’s parents don’t appear when Doomsday and Superman’s powers lock.”

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20.”Vin Diesel doesn’t appear during the random car chase or all the other scenes that remind you of the “Fast & Furious” franchise.”

Nothing reminded me of the Fast & Furious franchise. The guy who wrote this probably also hated the Batmobile chase scene from Batman Begins. Cars moving fast? Where’s Vin Diesel? *high fives frat bro*

21. “Batman visits Lex Luthor in prison and says stuff about finding him wherever he goes.”

Have you ever noticed that rich people don’t stay in prison very long? At least not in the movies. Also, I’d like to point out that this is the scene where we see Batman has changed. Earlier in the film, Alfred shows Bruce a newspaper with a picture of the branded criminal. He says “New rules?” to which Bruce replies “We’re criminals, Alfred. We’ve always been criminals.” Alfred says something like “Not always”. This is a different Batman than we are used to and it’s a different Batman than how he started. He once had rules and now those rules no longer matter. He’ll kill the bad guys if he has to now. What does it matter? When Superman sacrifices himself, Batman’s faith is restored. He could have branded Lex, which we learned earlier is essentially a death sentence in prison, but he chose not to. He chose to take the path Superman would have taken.

22. “Whoa. Our moms are both named Martha?”

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